The majority of us spend a third of our life at work.
Read that again.
A THIRD of our lives!
That figure is enough to make anyone quit their job and run to the hills.
So, with that in mind, it’s worth making work as pleasurable as possible.
Unfortunately, not everything is in our control. All it takes is one person in the company to spoil your experience. Just one bad egg can make you feel rotten! They will ruin your day, environment, workforce, and organisation.
It’s impossible for a business to achieve results when its employees are working in a toxic environment.
Toxic people cause toxic environments. Like a virus, toxic people contaminate a good team. They meddle with individuals, curse relationships, and destroy company morale.
As a manager, if a member of your team is showing toxic behaviour it’s your job to spot it and do something about it.
Identifying toxic traits should happen during the hiring process. This way you can avoid having to deal with them in your workforce. But, that is easier said than done. Even if you get good references you can still end up with a difficult colleague.
What toxic traits to look for
- Aggressiveness. At first, aggressive people will appear competitive and ambitious. When it tips over the edge they will become argumentative and will intimidate others. This kind of disruptive behaviour can affect workplace safety as well as productivity.
- Narcissism. Anyone that only focuses on themselves is not a team player. They will prioritise their own needs and agenda at all times and at the expense of others. Collaboration is impossible for this person.
- Condescending. The person who knows-it-all. They have an answer for everything and assume everyone else knows less than they do. Their behaviour makes other people feel inferior. This person lacks the self-awareness to know they still have things to learn.
- Gossiping. The gossip likes to stir up trouble. Any information you disclose to them becomes ammunition. Their interest in you can give you a sense of importance, but soon enough everyone will know your secrets. Trust is diminished and relationships are tested when there is a gossip in the ranks.
- Egotistical. This person finds ways to make themselves look good at every opportunity. They will name-drop. They’ll claim credit for colleagues’ achievements and downplay the efforts of others. They only see worth in the work that they do and dismiss other people’s contributions.
- Bullying. Mocking, intimidation, blame, sabotage, and harassment. These are all aspects of bullying. Companies are responsible for preventing bullying and harassment. They face legal action if they don’t. Over 60% of bullies are bosses abusing their power. They destroy their victims’ mental health and create environments of intimidation.
The trouble is, toxic people often show more than one negative trait. This makes it a challenge to keep track of what is happening and how it’s making you feel.
Once, I had the misfortune of working with a know-it-all gossip who had narcissistic tendencies. I would sensor what I told them. This was my first signal that there was an issue. I didn’t trust them.
They would dismiss other people’s work, claiming their work had more importance. Being a team player was at the bottom of their agenda.
As their stress levels rose they’d increase their manipulation tactics. Communication was fraught and meetings became battlegrounds. Anyone who tried to work with them suffered, especially the team they managed.
Their dark presence took a toll on the whole company’s well-being and productivity.
Despite my complaints, management didn’t install procedures to progress the situation. It only improved when the person left the organisation. By then, a lot of damage had been done.
What to do if you work with a toxic person
What if a toxic person has slipped through the hiring process and they are already in your team?
Your only choice is to figure out how to work with them.
Self-protection is your best approach at this point. By managing yourself you can avoid being too affected by their behaviour. Easier said than done though.
I found the following approaches helpful. If you can master some of them, then your situation will become more bearable.
1. Rise above it
If someone is showing you negative behaviours then they are not worth your time or energy. Carry on as normal, giving no emotional attention to their toxic agenda. If they have nobody to be toxic with, then they will give up trying. With your head held high brush aside their negativity to disempower their toxic ways.
2. Call them out
This is a tough one. When someone has shouted at you or told a colleague your darkest secrets, the last thing you feel able to do is remain calm and rational.
Shouting back ‘you’re an a*hole’ is likely going to be your immediate response. Unfortunately, reacting and shouting back is only going to add fuel to their fire. Those manipulative types will use your reaction against you.
Your best response is to act on the point above and rise above it. Show no emotion at all.
Be clear that their behaviour is not appropriate. Hold them accountable for their actions. It is like holding up a mirror, forcing them to take a good look at themselves. If they don’t like what they see they may try to make some changes.
At the very least they won’t want to be called out again, so it will make you less of a target victim in the future.
3. Don’t take it personally
Toxic people may feel threatened by you, prompting their need to boost their own self-esteem. This can make it feel like their actions are an attack on you personally. Remember, they are like that with everyone. You are not responsible for their behaviour.
Whatever their reasoning, they choose the way they act. Whether it’s through lack of self-awareness or full intent, their behaviour is not anything to do with you.
4. Observe don’t absorb
This phrase got me through my experience with a toxic colleague. Once I’d mastered it, I could see what they were doing from the outside of the situation. I’d look on with interest like I was watching TV. It became fascinating.
Feeling removed, I’d observe the effect of their behaviour on individuals and the work environment.
5. Set Boundaries
Maybe you learned the hard way, but if someone is a gossip then decide what you will and won’t share with them. Avoid telling them anything you don’t want to become common knowledge. On the other hand, if you have something you want everyone to know, you know who to tell first.
Set boundaries by acknowledging their behaviour then drawing the line on what you will accept. Decide when you will know someone has crossed the line and how you will respond when they have.
It’s possible that despite trying the suggested tactics, the toxicity is still impacting you too much. Moving desks or departments could be an option. If it’s not, it might be time to jump ship.
Sometimes it’s best to accept that a situation is not going to improve. If you can’t change the person, your position, or how much it affects you, prioritise yourself. Your happiness comes first. Think of your health and start looking for another job.
Before you know it, that toxic person will be an ex-colleague and distant memory.